god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
