I am puke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
