You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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