i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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