Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
