You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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