hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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