I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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