I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
