I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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