good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
