I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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