I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
