is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
