someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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