whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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