i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
