Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
