My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
