no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
