Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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