You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
