my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
