Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize