so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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