We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
