Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
