i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
