xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
