He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize