I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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