I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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