I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
