And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
