that's an acceptable place to lick
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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