used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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