I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
