Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
