Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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