im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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