I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize