sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
