He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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