i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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