sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
