Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
