Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
