we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
