just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
