But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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