I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize