Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
