Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
