I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
