Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are we still banned from the library?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
