i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
