We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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