If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
