Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize