And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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