everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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