My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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