He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
