so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
