His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
